Verizon had a couple options here.
A) Repair the severed, sagging phone line and return it to it's previous height. br> br>
B) Repair line and tie-strap it to rusty old fence.
They went with option B...
From the submitter:
"Dad cut the cable, so we patched it back together."
Freakin' Dad, man. If that IS his real name.