Because Thieves Never Carry Tools

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Because Thieves Never Carry Tools
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And they'd really want your rusted, Russian-made monstrosity to begin with.

~NSHA

In Detroit, Nothing With Wheels is Safe

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In Detroit, Nothing With Wheels is Safe
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Hey kids! Once I find some 2x4s you're getting skateboards for Christmas!

~Not-So-Handy Andy

Missing Jack? Edward Will Help.

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Missing Jack?  Edward Will Help.
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Two bottle jacks, two scissor jacks, a Twilight book and 2x4" oughta do it! Left in a municipal lot, on a slope.