Nothing Beats Paper, Good Ol' Paper

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Close Enough,lock,paper,security,wtf
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Don't worry, the combination is written on it.

~NSHA

Mini-Mart Security

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'Hoey' Is Serious About Chair Theft

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chairs,Kludge,Professional At Work,protection,rope,security
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Industry Standard Padlock Test

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elevator,locked up,security
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Rollin' on Pizza Boxes

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cars,classy,dual use,security,wheels
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Put your cinder blocks away, those wheels aren't worth anything.

~NSHA

Because Thieves Never Carry Tools

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cars,locked up,security,wheels
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And they'd really want your rusted, Russian-made monstrosity to begin with.

~NSHA

Post-Riot Security

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locked up,Professional At Work,security
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They were so close to stealing the whole extension cord.

~NSHA