There I Fixed It Opens a Russian Office

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There I Fixed It Opens a Russian Office
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Well, not really. This wonderful kludge pretty much speaks for itself but just in case, do any Russian fixers want to help translate. I'm going to take a wild guess: the words mean "girl" "heater" and "fan". Are my brilliant deduction skills up to par?

~NSHA

Not-A-Kludge: Scooter Powered Caravan

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Not-A-Kludge: Scooter Powered Caravan
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The QTvan was especially designed for the Royal Wedding this week. Elderly folks who wish to see the happy couple without spending the night on the sidewalk can buy this caravan that's not only light enough, but made to be pulled by a scooter. Price tag: £5,500

Safe For Babies!

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Safe For Babies!
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See what you have to do when you wear sandals on the wrong day? ~Not-So-Handy Andy