If he doesn't die, I will... from disbelief.

Call Atlas Repairs! We put the weight of your business on our shoulders!

From the submitter:

My husband bolted this Sunday School table to boards and held it on with rachet straps around the deck so he could paint our deck. Only problem -- How to get on to the scaffolding -- solution -- put a chair on the deck, stand on it, swing leg over deck rail, drop down to the scaffold. Guess it worked.