From the submitter:
My dad was told he had to fix the 25 foot tall skylight one hour before company came over, and this creature was born.
Shh, nobody tell him skylight's can be fixed from the roof.
Ah screw it, this month-old casserole isn't going to heat itself.
He doesn't even have a seat belt.
If he falls he just has to grab onto the umbrella which will provide a gentle float down to the ground.