Security's Pretty Tight Around Here!

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In Russia, they take security supeя seяiously.

There I Fixed It Opens a Russian Office

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Well, not really. This wonderful kludge pretty much speaks for itself but just in case, do any Russian fixers want to help translate. I'm going to take a wild guess: the words mean "girl" "heater" and "fan". Are my brilliant deduction skills up to par?

~NSHA

TSA in Russia

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By Unknown
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"Three ounces of vodka or less? What is this? Kindergarten?"

Like Some Sort of Double Unicycle

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By Unknown
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It's a brilliant idea. Now all it needs is a name.

~NSHA