There I Fixed It Opens a Russian Office

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There I Fixed It Opens a Russian Office
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Well, not really. This wonderful kludge pretty much speaks for itself but just in case, do any Russian fixers want to help translate. I'm going to take a wild guess: the words mean "girl" "heater" and "fan". Are my brilliant deduction skills up to par?

~NSHA

Russian Farms Haven't Evolved Much

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Russian Farms Haven't Evolved Much
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If they're going to base their agricultural tools off of American television shows, they should at least watch something other than The Flinstones.

~Not-So-Handy Andy

TSA in Russia

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TSA in Russia
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By Unknown
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"Three ounces of vodka or less? What is this? Kindergarten?"

This Pipeline Goes Right Through Traffic!

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This Pipeline Goes Right Through Traffic!
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For when your car absolutely, positively NEEDS oil!

Alcohol Powered Bicycle

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Unfortunately, the There I Fixed It translator is on vacation. Anyone care to help out?