Steal 3D glasses from the theatre. Buy two pocket projectors. Borrow a tripod from your "aspiring photographer" cousin. Kludge them all together after pirating any James Cameron "film".
.... no profit
If the kitchen TV won't fit under the cabinet on top of the DVR, then mount the DVR upside under the cabinet with plumbing straps.
This could be the best use the teacher could find for the textbooks? We fixed it. Now students have to open their books again.
I wonder if the fact that it was St. Patrick's Day had anything to do with this solution.