You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? You had to attempt to combine the world's greatest game with a world's greatest food. You flew too close to the sun, my friend.
After all, you have to make sure your valuables are secure.
If I had the choice to make one public service announcement, it would be warning people against microwaving leftover pizza. "Crispy Crust or Bust!" I'm still working on the slogan.
While this looks cool, there's no way it would work without getting sauce all over your hands or constantly awkwardly readjusting it every 2 seconds.
~Not-So-Handy Cynical Andy