Don't worry guys:
I got this.
Just like in the game, anyone who is able to jump between the connections deserves it.
If this was my neighbor, I would sign him up for enough junkmail to fill every drawer in that bin. That would make him feel good, right?
Think they can knock over my mailbox? I'll show them, I'll show them all!
Beware the tiny, smelly minotaur.