A cheaply made glove. With holes in it. On a giant's hand. Who hasn't trimmed his nails in a while.
From the submitter:
So I get up today and the kids are up before me watching TV. That's fine, it Sunday, got to sleep in, figured I go check my email and puts around online for a few. Later I go into the living room, to turn the TV so I can start watching Game highlights before the Super Bowl, but can not find the remote. I mean I searched everywhere. The usual places... In the couch cushions, under the couch, behind the couch and behind the TV.... nowhere to be found.