If only it had a toilet paper attachment...
I've seen photos of this thing floating around for a while, but never did it occur to me that it's in fact a real product. Available from Hammacher Schlemmer, this Wenger tool holds the Guinness Word Record for being the most multi-functional penknife. Kudos to you if you can name all of its fucntions. If not, here's a real Swiss guy going over how ridiculous this thing really is.
I'm pissed they took the laser out.