Computer battery broken? No problem! Just weld on a 12V boat battery. 70 pounds is a bit much for a "portable computer," but it's better than no computer at all!
"We received a shipment the other day with dry ice packed to keep it frozen. We did the same USB fan trick that was sent in by Acidcow, but amped it up a notch. We cut a hole in the side of the cooler, and aligned the dry ice packs to allow maximum airflow around them, then propped the lid open so that air is drawn in from the top by the fan, cooled by the dry ice, and blown on the computer user forthwith."
Consider me henceforth impressed!