Oh man, this is great! It's perfect for... seeing texts the second they come in? Showing off your cell phone? Watching videos in a horrid orientation? Wait a minute, why is this useful again?
Looks like we have a competition on our hands.
"Because some stupid person decided to steal the radio and navigation out of my car, I made a cell phone holder out of a pizza box."
Ha! Checkmate, thieves! Now it sucks too much for you to steal!
Even in it most literal sense, calling him a "diaper head" is still wildly inappropriate.