If that truck had a version of those "How's my Driving?" stickers, except it said "How's my Kludging?" I'd call the number.
~Not-"Not-So-Handy Andy" Jack
If your theme is "badass," you certainly can't go wrong with chains.
Nowadays bumpers are made out of plastic. Consider this a formal request of the auto industry to start making bumpers out of whatever Nokias are made out of... "noki-ite."
Then use grit, spit, and duct tape! Free, free, and, like, five bucks at the drug store.
Some people say I eat too many chocolate bars...