It needs more bike!
In a hurry? Late to work because your alarm clock went Benedict Arnold on you and decided not to ring this morning? Then take a page out of Romanian teenager Raul Oaida's book and wire a self-made jet engine to your bicycle! On his first test run, Oaida was able to reach a top speed of 26 MPH. Just think, no more running into work or class and having to recite a litany of sorries to everyone gawking at your tardy ass. Oh the humiliation!
"I have a good cellphone with all these neat features, but I couldn't find a cheap bike mount for it, so I decided to build one of my own! I've just used cardboard, a lot of black extra strong gaffer tape, about ½ meter (~1' 8") of velcro and a piece of sponge that sits on the back, between the handlebar and the bike mount as a shock absorber."