This is an udderly stupid way to get out of repairing your emergency eye wash station. (sorry)
Another possible solution: The Dark Tower. You just might not want to read the ending though, lest your anger cause you to topple your creation.
Not to worry Fixers, the Historical Thursday post is working out a couple of kink as its writer recovers from the Vancouver riots. It'll be up within an hour!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say no one is going to answer this.