And he's not too happy about the leash either.
Dude, seriously? Aren't you worried about your dog or even the plethora of flammable chemicals you're throwing sparks at? There's a fine line between kludging and wanton disregard for safety, this is definitely the latter.
From the submitter:
My dog's cone of shame wasn't quite long enoguh to keep her from licking an infected paw. I extended it with a plastic file folder and some zip ties, but ended up with a bit of a gap. The solution? A plate from an old motorcycle. Now everyoen can clearly see that this dog is, in fact, licensed.