Teenage Girl Youtube Comments: The Neo-Noir Edition

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In the pink corner, we have commenter 'Sophie Danze,' proud Directioner.

In the... also pink corner, we have commenter 'Jilianlovesthebeibs.' Proud Directioner and Belieber.

Dead Parrot took their Youtube comment slapfight in the comments section One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful" and turned it into the dark, gritty mafioso drama script it was always meant to be.

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Skynet Will Destroy Us All

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Stop the destruction of humanity! Stop making asinine Youtube comments!

A Complex Emoticon Algorithm

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Thank you Justin, for explaining the complexities of a "d"