technology

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Apple was pretty brave this year.

After removing every port they possibly could so that they could create both more dongles and fewer wires, they released a new MacBook Pro with a Touch Bar and totally affordable price tag.

But what about us poor schmoes that can’t afford a $2,300 laptop? There’s a YouTube video for that.

In just 26 seconds this video will show you how to turn your old, broken, awful, worthless, bordering on illegal MacBook into a brand-new, state-of-the-art Touch Bar-ready MacBook.

Tools you’ll need:

  • MacBook Pro
  • Masking Tape
  • Electrical Tape

Get to work!

Via Jade Reed
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Are you trying to give your grandma a heart attack, young man?

This grandson, who probably will not be receiving a birthday check this year, that’s for sure, decided to give his grandmother a heart attack by telling her about his New Year’s Eve plans. They consisted of showing up to a warehouse at 10pm and partying there until 5am.

But when will he be getting home, she asks.

7 am.

This is out of control and not what a sweet grandma needs to be hearing — her darling grandson spending New Year's Eve spinning techno records and staying out till all hours of the night. 

But you know what? Sorry, granny, this techno-loving warehouse partier’s a big boy now.

via Interscope Records

 

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Whether you like snowboarders being carried by giant drones, a robot coffeemaker, or a wall-climbing cat, there’s something in this Win compilation for you.

I mean, you got Super Mario Legos, a Harlem Globetrotter sinking shots from a the top of a building, and a dude stopping a subway train with his bare hands. What more do you need? Stop being miserable and watch this. PLEASE.

via Atinum

It’s great. Watch it and feel alive again. This guy’s waiting for you:


kissenger gadget lets you kiss over the internet and smartphone
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Have you ever been alone late at night and dreamed of your lover’s sweet embrace, your lips longing for their's? Did you dream of a cold, lifeless machine that could replicate the feeling of your lips touching?

Dreams come true.

The Kissenger machine, developed by researchers from the Imagineering Lab at City Unviersity in London, allows you to plug your iPhone into a holster that looks like it has a sponge or something on it. You kiss the sponge and “high precision force sensors” measure the “dynamic forces at different parts of your lips during a kiss." Then the machine transmits those measurements via the Kissenger iOS app. Your partner recieves the kiss, and persumbly enjoy it. Yup,  totally normal and not weird or sad.

Ok. Let’s see who the website says this is for:

via Kissenger

Now you can kiss your favorite pop star, and they can indulge in your weird fantasy of kissing them. Fine. Let’s see what else is on this site. This picture: 



via Kissenger

Great. Yeah, all this seems on the level.

The Kissenger is still just a prototype and requires a headphone jack to plug into their weird kissing sponge, which means iPhone 7 users are safe for now.



via The Gadget Show

H/T The Verge

six-year-old uses sleeping mother's thumbprint to make pokemon purchases on amazon
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Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to buy all the stuff on your Amazon Wish List that you didn’t get for the holidays. Security? Thumb-Print Verification. Tools? Your sleeping mother’s thumb.

via Erepublik

Sorry, Ethan Hunt. This mission belongs to 6-year-old Ashlynd Howell.

In a piece about how online shopping is killing Christmas shopping from The Wall Street Journal, the paper breezed over a tidbit about future world-leader Ashlynd Howell, writing:

"While Bethany Howell napped on the couch last week, her daughter Ashlynd, 6 years old, used her mother’s thumb to unlock her phone and open the Amazon app. “$250 later, she has shopped for all her Christmas presents on Amazon,” said Ms. Howell, of Little Rock, Ark."

Surprisingly, The Wall Street Journal buried the lead on a story that was probably written in 1997 because online shopping is killing the holidays and not this:

via Tumblr

Anyway, Ashlynd made the most of her shopping spree, purchasing 13 Pokémon or Pokémon-related items. She was, reportedly, “really proud of herself.”

H/T Huffington Post