technology

american greetings and nick offerman troll ces tech expo
Via: American Greetings
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CES is one of the biggest tech events of the year. It’s when everyone convinces you that you need to buy a terrifying robot Einstein for some reason.

But Nick Offerman aka Ron Swanson and American Greetings — yeah, the greeting card company — trolled all of them.

Promising “a device like none other,” Offerman and America Greetings delivered just that. Offerman took to the stage to present… a regular greeting card that looks like:



via Mashable

Offerman, who was there to present the product had this to say:

"When I started dating my wife — her name is Megan Mullally, she's a very beautiful actress and singer and goddess — she and I loved giving each other cards," he told a crowd at the press event. "It's a very important part of our relationship, and so we've continued that practice.

"Even though there are times when it's more appropriate, of course, to send a text or an email ... when you really want to get a sentiment across, there's nothing like the artifact of the handwritten card.

D'awwww... now go buy one for you mother or something.

H/T Mashable

terrifying einstein robot unveiled at CES
Via: Mashable
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Stupid robots are all the rage at this year’s CES technology expo in Las Vegas. But while most of them just want to roll around the house and tell you the weather, this one just wants to scare the shit out of you or worse.

Hanson Robots unveiled this creepy Einstein robot, which definitely won’t come alive and kill you or something. Nope. It’s just here to learn and teach. Sure, never heard that one before.

Tell me this thing isn’t hiding something.

via Mashable

According to Mashable, “The robot pairs and interacts with an accompanying iOS and Android app called the Stein-O-Matic, used to teach science and play games, but can also act sort of like a Amazon Alexa or Google Home by reciting facts, solving problems and giving current weather updates.”

"Our end goal is to make AI very smart and to relate with people well, so by giving it a humanlike form it means that we can teach it more what it means to be human," CEO and founder David Hanson told Mashable. "It can physically explore the world the way that a baby would, and it can socially explore; learn from people.”

Oh, it learns? Like where I sleep? Nice try, uncanny valley, but you’re going to have to send some smarter robots if they’re going to get me.

via I Play Old Games

Via: heyheybobbyj
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Apple was pretty brave this year.

After removing every port they possibly could so that they could create both more dongles and fewer wires, they released a new MacBook Pro with a Touch Bar and totally affordable price tag.

But what about us poor schmoes that can’t afford a $2,300 laptop? There’s a YouTube video for that.

In just 26 seconds this video will show you how to turn your old, broken, awful, worthless, bordering on illegal MacBook into a brand-new, state-of-the-art Touch Bar-ready MacBook.

Tools you’ll need:

  • MacBook Pro
  • Masking Tape
  • Electrical Tape

Get to work!

Via: Jade Reed
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Are you trying to give your grandma a heart attack, young man?

This grandson, who probably will not be receiving a birthday check this year, that’s for sure, decided to give his grandmother a heart attack by telling her about his New Year’s Eve plans. They consisted of showing up to a warehouse at 10pm and partying there until 5am.

But when will he be getting home, she asks.

7 am.

This is out of control and not what a sweet grandma needs to be hearing — her darling grandson spending New Year's Eve spinning techno records and staying out till all hours of the night. 

But you know what? Sorry, granny, this techno-loving warehouse partier’s a big boy now.

via Interscope Records

 

Via: WIN Compilation
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Whether you like snowboarders being carried by giant drones, a robot coffeemaker, or a wall-climbing cat, there’s something in this Win compilation for you.

I mean, you got Super Mario Legos, a Harlem Globetrotter sinking shots from a the top of a building, and a dude stopping a subway train with his bare hands. What more do you need? Stop being miserable and watch this. PLEASE.

via Atinum

It’s great. Watch it and feel alive again. This guy’s waiting for you: