sex

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Payback is a Bitch... and an STD

I'm not even totally sure of where to begin with this one. The absurd level of douchbaggary by the insecure asshole who initiated all of this is reaching new heights. Like, what even goes through your head to make you want to initiate a conversation like this? 

"Hey, let's send pictures of my girlfriend naked to her ex-bf to make him jealous!" 

Man. What a novel, ingenious, idea. I'm sure that can't backfire on you in any way, shape or form. 

Completely unsurprisingly, it did. Luckily for this guy though, it might have saved him from going full-on Pokemaster and catching them all.


Well, that's unless he has already been performing wondrous feats in the bareback rodeo...

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The World Outdoes Itself and Releases the World's First "Smart Condom," a FitBit for Your Penis

Well, it's come to this a the world's first Smart Condom.

Now before you go slapping thing on your little dickie, you should know that this isn't really a condom, so much as a FitBit for your wiener. It is a ring that slides over your condom and tracks your thrust velocity, calories, burned, the amount of times you had sex, your girth, and can even detect chlamydia and syphilis — perhaps the only two useful things it does. This does not, I repeat does not, act as an actual birth control measure. It's just gamifies your sex life. 

People are on the fence about this thing, but they definitely like making fun of it.

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29 Texts From Exs That We Can All Relate To

After a certain point in life, unless you're some shining beacon of hope of a human being who finds 'true love', we all have ex's. You might try to pretend they don't exist, but that doesn't mean they aren't out there, living and breathing and maybe even thinking of you.

Well, at some point or another I'm sure you've either attempted communication with them or had them attempt to contact you and for that reason most of us will be able to relate to these conversations. 

These are 'texts from your ex' that will inspire you to continue avoiding that person out there that you actively avoid. 

After all, they don't all live in Texas folks.

Autosaved List - 3/1/2017 3:31:28 PM
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15 Nurses Reveal the Craziest Sexual History Answers They've Come Across

My heart goes out to the nurses of the world: as part of their profession they willingly (have to, really) delve deep into the dirty sexual secrets of many an active patient to ensure dudes aren't walking around with their dicks falling off or ladies aren't pissing fire---and really a whole wealth of other skin-crawling conditions we'd do just as well to not dwell on. Do any of your stories/answers to your nurse hold a candle to these 15 clearly tumultuous sexual histories?

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Via: B2 Channel
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Well well, look at what we have here. I thought this crazy kind of morally devoid behavior was reserved for the vile, syrup-soaked confines of the nearest Waffle House establishment --- a place I might add that serves up World Star Hip Hop beatdowns with the Eggs Benedict dinner special. Can't beat that kind of customer service right? Granted, this footage is no more than a display of a couple of looney lovebirds higher off horniness for one another than Jesse Pinkman fresh off a Blue Crystal bender.

See for yourself. In this case, thank god for censorship. 

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14 Depraved UrbanDictionary Sex Moves That We Absolutely Hope No One Has Ever Attempted

In all fairness here, these moves are hailing from the deep and notoriously darker depths of the creatively twisted Urban Dictionary. That said, I was still genuinely reeling in shock over the emotional and/or physical pain implied in these sex moves. Let's just say the descriptions alone didn't fail to set a new high (low) for what I thought possible as far as sexual experimentation goes. 

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