sex

Via: Jimmy Kimmel Live
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If you're reading this and you happen to hail from Alaska, then you've my sincerest condolences; cause bruh, you apparently live in an STD-ridden state populated by sexually active folk with a staggeringly underdeveloped ability to use protection. 

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This Friday's Dedicated to Savannah Montano, Who Has An Ass That Looks Like the Bottom Of Heaven

Before the backlash ensues for posting a list of a 'hot chick in a bikini' -- something a surprising number of users here don't seem to be on board with -- can I just invite you to consider the fact that yes, another week is almost in the books (or it already is, if you're lucky); and we should probably celebrate the long-awaited occasion by driving ourselves wild with thirst for a young lady with a bottom seemingly carved by fucking Michelangelo himself, before she fell from heaven. Too far? Oh well. Upvote if you like hot chicks in revealing bikinis. Upvote if you like Fridays. 

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Dude on Twitter Live-Tweets Hilarious Breakdown on the Perils of An Orgy

The consistently comedically gifted WeNotSucks hopped on Twitter yesterday to run a relatable analysis on the ups and downs of an orgy. His thought-stirring stream of tweets actually managed to spotlight the likely concerns of any sexual deviants out there considering giving the group sex thing a run. Initially, you'd kind of assume any thirsty man out there would jump at the chance of uninhibited group sex, but the further you get into this dude's thought process, the less that seems true!

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23 Couples Share Their Least Favorite Part About Sex

Sex can be a lot of things, but it's not always what it's cracked up to be. These couples shared the things that they just can't stand about sex. 

Autosaved List - 3/2/2017 10:24:23 AM
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Payback is a Bitch... and an STD

I'm not even totally sure of where to begin with this one. The absurd level of douchbaggary by the insecure asshole who initiated all of this is reaching new heights. Like, what even goes through your head to make you want to initiate a conversation like this? 

"Hey, let's send pictures of my girlfriend naked to her ex-bf to make him jealous!" 

Man. What a novel, ingenious, idea. I'm sure that can't backfire on you in any way, shape or form. 

Completely unsurprisingly, it did. Luckily for this guy though, it might have saved him from going full-on Pokemaster and catching them all.


Well, that's unless he has already been performing wondrous feats in the bareback rodeo...

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The World Outdoes Itself and Releases the World's First "Smart Condom," a FitBit for Your Penis

Well, it's come to this a the world's first Smart Condom.

Now before you go slapping thing on your little dickie, you should know that this isn't really a condom, so much as a FitBit for your wiener. It is a ring that slides over your condom and tracks your thrust velocity, calories, burned, the amount of times you had sex, your girth, and can even detect chlamydia and syphilis — perhaps the only two useful things it does. This does not, I repeat does not, act as an actual birth control measure. It's just gamifies your sex life. 

People are on the fence about this thing, but they definitely like making fun of it.

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