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Scorpion Stings Guy Flying United Airlines and People Are Too Ready With Hilarious Responses

United Airlines cannot catch a fucking break this week, dude. As the utter PR catastrophe that was Dr. Dao being forcibly removed from a flight (suffering concussion/other injuries in the process) unfolds, seemingly destined to only get worse...they get stung with this nightmare. Bruh. You can't have locked and loaded scorpions falling from overhead storage areas on your flights. Sure, this kind of madness probably pops up every now and again; but I can't think of a worse time for the company. Truly. 

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Via: Salt
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Deep down I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we're all just witnessing some absurdly aggressive guerilla marketing on the part of M&M's. Police that responded to the scene are already estimated the total damage caused being around $700. That's a whole lot of candy bro bro. Hope blowing off all that steam and ripping through the store like a steroid-drunk maelstrom of rage was worth it. 

Via: The Rock
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It's a pleasure to see a man now so renowned for his absurdly oversized bank account, with a damn well established career in the movie industry, able to be humbled by his rockier, more ridiculous (perhaps ill-conceived) beginnings.

Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson is totally ready to poke fun at his lesser developed acting skills when he was just getting started. Suffice to say, the guy's definitely come a long way to where he is now!

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People Are Roasting the Life Out of Ivanka's In-Laws For Building Skyscraper That Looks Like Giant Glass Dildo

The company owned by Ivanka Trump's in-laws, the Kushner family definitely managed to ignite a hilarious wave of meme-inspired, dildoesque ridiculousness. Did they know the internet has no shame when it comes to drawing sexualized comparisons? They had to have. I refuse to believe anything else. That building is a steel-framed, thunderous erectile implant, and if the Kushners go through with creating it; all the power to 'em. 

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Via: Classic News Be Funny
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The team chemistry is strong with these ones, huh? All sarcasm aside, I'd genuinely enjoy watching these two unfortunately paired co-workers try to make it through a series of news segments without being outright overcome with the burning desire to tear each other's heads off.