probably-bad-news

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The Gilliam family ordered cranberry juice for their toddler Gabriela, but when she took a sip they immediately noticed something was wrong. Taking a drink from her child's cup themselves, they discovered it was actually sangria (the preferred drink of college lit majors looking to forget that they need to read Joyce for Wednesday's class).

After several trips to local doctors and monitoring Gabriela's sleep patterns she's totally fine, but not after a tiny toddler bender ("She was kissing everything"). 

Hopefully she won't experience that kind of feeling again until college. Or at least late high school, who are we kidding.

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Via: Komo News
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There are lots of simple things you can do to get to work on time. This is not one of them.

A man in Washington was caught by state troopers using a cardboard cutout of the “Most Interesting Man in the World” from the Dos Equis ads as a passenger to fool authorities into letting him use the HOV lane.

Needless to say, it didn’t work, and he was fined.

Trooper Guy Gill Tweeted out the photo on Tuesday, giving the guy some props for trying.

“I don’t always violate the HOV lane law,” he wrote. “But when I do, I get a $124 ticket! We’ll give him an A for creativity!”

After being pulled over, the driver told the officer that the man was his “best friend.”

This might have been a big fail, but the real Dos Equis guy could have gotten away with it.

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Via: Sourcefed
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Well, the story is maybe a little more complicated than that. Daniel Podolsky was one of many people who picked up the shirt at Comedy Central's SXSW event. When he hopped on his flight home, he was told he would have to cover up or remove the offending shirt for the sake of other passengers before taking off. 

It's at this point that Podolsky escalates the issue and refused, leading to what can only be described as a titanic battle between corporate drone crone-iness and rampant pissant-ism. What happens when a tyrannical, mindless corporate travel agency is matched up against an ass who won't betray his principles for the sake of Getting This Damn Plane in the Air? Well, something like this.

Was anyone really in the wrong here? Does Southwest need to lighten up or this guy get his act together? Let us know in the comments!

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Somehow the story is even worse than that sounds.

Kam Brock, @Akilahbrock, was pulled over by New York police and her car impounded when officers suspected she was driving under the influence of marijuana (none was found in the vehicle). After getting upset with officers and undergoing a medical evaluation, doctors thought she was suffering from a mental disorder - thinking her claims of being followed by Barack Obama on Twitter were bunk.

The only problem is that Barack Obama DOES follow @AkilahBrock, and around 640,000 other people. And now Brock is faced with thousands in medical bills after being sent to a facility. She's now pursuing legal action as a result of these stupid, insane events.

Check out a full video of the coverage here.

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Via: MSN
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Allegedly the girl hatched a revenge plot to murder her mother after her iPhone was taken away. That sentence is a real event and not something we pulled from a psychology case study on sociopathy.

Boulder County police arrested the tween after her mother reported her for the second poisoning incident. The first, when the child poured bleach into her mother's smoothie, which mom was able to detect by smell (and here we thought it was the pricepoint of a Vitamix that would kill you ZING).

Then she tried the same stunt with a carafe of water that her mother kept in her bedroom. This is probably the ballsiest move in the entire story, because seriously who tries the same matricidal nonsense twice? That's just poor form, Olivia (in the story I am assuming the child's name is Olivia because they're all named Olivia, run with me here).

To conclude, anothercase of tween barbarism solved by the power of a mom who won't take any nonsnse... and maybe a little help from Mr. Yuck.

Via: al.com
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Walmart not only has falling prices, it’s also got strange men falling out of the ceiling.

A shoplifter was apprehended by security at a store in Mobile, Alabama last Wednesday after trying to walk away with a debit card, some shoes, a hat, a watch and some underwear.

They locked him up in the security office, but he mysteriously disappeared.

“He had climbed on a desk, jumped into the ceiling, then tried to escape,” said a witness named Brannan Lynn, who recorded the whole thing on his phone.

The suspect made his way to the entryway of the store where he then kicked he way through, dangling for a few minutes before hopping down to the ground.

He eventually ran into the parking lot and drove away in his car.

You can check out some more raw footage of the daring escape on LiveLeak.

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