Probably bad News

funny-news-fail-agoraphobic-grandma-manhole-fall
Via: Daily Mail
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Janet Faal of the UK has suffered from agoraphobia (a fear of open spaces and the outside) for years. As a part of her recovery and rehabillitation, she ventured out of the house with a friend. While helping said friend reverse her vehicle out of a car park, Faal kicked away an obtrusive wooden pallet. What she didn't know was that it was covering an open manhole. It took nearly an hour for rescue crews to help her, at which point it was clear her fall bruised up her face and broke her foot.

Faal is concerned that the incident has set back her recovery time by "years," and she clearly has no intentions to go outside again any time soon.

funny-news-fail-drugs-flakka-florida
Via: NBC
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The substance is called Flakka, and apparently it makes bath salts look tame in comparison. This guy here reportedly did the nasty with a tree, claimed he was Thor, and then attempted to stab a police officer with his own badge before being taken town.

Remember kids: Winners don't use drugs, and neither do Asgardian deities.

funny-fail-news-australia-police-breast-milk
Via: Daily Mail
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From the Daily Mail:

Perth's Erica Leeder appeared in Fremantle Magistrates Court on Wednesday and will remain in jail after she was not grant bail, 9News reported.

Western Australia police allege the 26-year-old took hold of her breast and squirted milk on to the female officer who was performing the strip search on Leeder.

The milk hit the officer on the forehead, arms and clothing while Leeder was naked from the waist up, according to Perth Now.