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Forget Pineapple Pizza Because People Are Dipping Pizza in Milk and Let's Just End Earth Right Now

It's been a great 4.54 billion years, but I think it's time to end Earth.

Why?

Because people have started a hot new trend of dipping pizza in milk, and, wow, let's just end the whole thing now. Seriously, I just looked at a picture of this, and I don't see much of a point in continuing the whole planet Earth thing. 

There's plenty of things to dip in milk. Cookies, cereal, your hand. But not pizza. The only thing you should dip pizza in is more sauce. But, you know what? Humans have made such a mess of things, so maybe it's time to just quit while we're ahead — or rather before we've totally lost.

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This Pizza Place Trolls the Shit Out of Customer Who Orders Pineapple on Pizza

We've reached peak pineapple pizza. 

On March 4, Twitter user @Try2ShootUsDown tweeted that she tried to order pineapple on pizza, and the pizza place refused in the best way possible. 

Now, this is probably fake. What kind of self-respecting pizza place puts something on their menu only to shame the customer. That's a Papa John's move, and Papa John's is the worst. 

Either way, people are loving this who thing because they hate pineapple on pizza, even though the mix of sweet and savory rules. Like have you ever tried pineapple-jalapeno pizza? It's bomb as hell. What do you think about all this?

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Via: Pizza Hut
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Pizza Hut, the only pizza that comes with a free order of diahrea, has finally released a new and incredibly stupid way to order pizza: Shoes.

They might look like a pair of Reebok pumps, but these new Pizza Hut Pie Tops order a large pizza from Pizza Hut from anywhere. They've even got Grant Hill plugging them. No, seriously.



How does it work? A button on the top of the tongue of the Pie Tops connects to the Pie Tops app, which orders a pizza.

Welcome to the future, nerds. 

Via: B2 Channel
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Well well, look at what we have here. I thought this crazy kind of morally devoid behavior was reserved for the vile, syrup-soaked confines of the nearest Waffle House establishment --- a place I might add that serves up World Star Hip Hop beatdowns with the Eggs Benedict dinner special. Can't beat that kind of customer service right? Granted, this footage is no more than a display of a couple of looney lovebirds higher off horniness for one another than Jesse Pinkman fresh off a Blue Crystal bender.

See for yourself. In this case, thank god for censorship. 

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Fitness Blog Gets Aggressive AF, Tries to Tell People to Not Eat Pizza, Invokes the Wrath of Twitter

This fitness blog managed to cut out a slice of social media spotlight, and truly, found fleeting relevancy in the worst way possible. If their goal was to get our attention, they definitely didn't fail on that account. One does not address the everyday pizza-loving human on Twitter (a venue already prone to rage-ridden outbursts/tweet reacts); and tell them they shouldn't enjoy their doughy gift of the gods. 

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Iceland's President Said He Would Ban Pineapple on Pizza Because He's Clearly Never Had Pineapple and Jalapeño Pizza

via Reaxxion

When visiting a high school in the Icelandic town of Akurekyri, President Guðni Th. Jóhannesson told students that if he could, he'd ban pineapple as a pizza topping. And let's just thank our lucky stars that he isn't ruler of the Chuck E. Cheese. 

I get that it's cool to make fun of pineapple pizza, but allow me to throw something out there: Pineapple and jalapeño pizza. Sweet and spicy. So good.

But that isn't stopping some people from jumping on the Jóhannesson Train:

You know what, enjoy Iceland, nerds:

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