Teenage Girl Youtube Comments: The Neo-Noir Edition

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In the pink corner, we have commenter 'Sophie Danze,' proud Directioner.

In the... also pink corner, we have commenter 'Jilianlovesthebeibs.' Proud Directioner and Belieber.

Dead Parrot took their Youtube comment slapfight in the comments section One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful" and turned it into the dark, gritty mafioso drama script it was always meant to be.

Excuse T. Swift, But She Doesn't Want to Let Them Finish

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Taylor Swift caught mouthing 'Shut the F*ck Up' at One Direction during last night's MTV Video Music Awards.