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By Manda No-pants
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Not enough "flow" to be a rap, but at least it reads well. This is why English majors aren't rappers.

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By Unknown
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As surprised as they are now, they're going to be extremely disappointed when they find out Jack Dawson wasn't real.

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By Unknown
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In a surprise Supreme Court ruling late late night, the justices announced replacing the "individual mandate" portion of the health care bill with a mandatory "Facebook post" clause. Before tax-payer dollars are used to perform surgeries, all cases will be uploaded to your profile and must receive a set number of 'likes' to be determined on a case-by-case basis.

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