fast food

You can't expect too much from fast food. It's mostly microwaved, assembly-lined food from people that should be making a bit more money. So you can't really blame them for not really giving a shit. So if you're paying a dollar for a burger or a taco, maybe you should expect fails like this. 


fast food
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win mcdonalds shamrock shake straw
Via: McDonald's
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It's your sucky day! (Ed: Sorry).

The folks at McDonald's hear you. Want all-day breakfast? Boom. Here's a McMuffin at 7:23pm. Want a smaller Big Mac? Boom. Buh-bye middle bread. You want a McRib? Sorry, you've got to wait for pork prices to plummet again

But one thing's for sure, they know that you're having a hard time with that Shamrock Shake, especially that new one with chocolate in it or something. And because McDonald's loves you, they've hired the team behind Google's modular smartphone Project Ara to produce S.T.R.A.W. (Suction Tube for Reverse Axial Withdrawal). 

via GIPHY

What's the difference between S.T.R.A.W. and straw? McDonald's new over-engineered bad bou comes with a hooked end and fore holes, which were designed specifically to allow people to finally taste their thicker than thick Chocolate Shamrock Shake. 

However, this project is a bit of a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket: S.T.R.A.W. is only available in 80 cities and limited to 2,000. 

It really is your sucky day. 

This fine Israeli Burger King establishment identified a key demographic, and they proceeded to capitalize on the thirsty, sexual pleasure-seeking debauched 18+ youths of the world by including sex toys in 'adult meals' as a Valentine's Day promo. Umm, genius or twisted or discouraging, or a little bit of all the above? I'll let you be the judge. 

Here's a cheers to an Israeli Burger King daring to be different, and the happiest of meals with the hopefully guaranteed happy ending for those souls out there brave (desperate) enough to give it a run. And I can't help wonder what kind of disparity we're looking at in the way of quality between that good-good-yum-yum dollar menu and the heftier combo meals...are we talking something as consequential as blue balls vs. knee-buckling orgasm? So many questions yet to be answered. Gotta give it to Burger King for not failing to accomplish piquing our curiosity. 

FAIL,burger king,fast food,Valentines day
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Say what you will about Col. Sanders, but he knows how to get the most out of his fried chicken. 

I'd say he was a war criminal for this one, though. 

KFC's "Chizza," as they're calling it, is a pizza made with sauce, "chicken ham," pineapple, mozzarella cheese, and KFC "cheese sauce" on a fried chicken crust. Every component of this thing except the sauce seems like complete insanity. Also, did I mention that it's served on a fried chicken crust. 

Right now, it's only available internationally — probably because this kind of thing might be illegal in America, but if you're in Singapore, you can check it out. Don't be a chicken. Try it. 

kfc,fast food
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Via: fb.com
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Everyone knows that fast food isn't good for you, but we didn't know things were this bad. 

Counting down the 10 grossest things found in fast food, YouTuber MatthewSantoro tells of things much scarier than saturated fat. Santoro tells of tongue-eating louse in tunafish, nails in mac and cheese, and unpackaged condoms in clam chowder. Excuse me...

via Valley Wag

Check out the rest of Matthew's list, and please, for the love of God, open your eyes before you take a bite. 

Via: Unique Colours
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I’m loving it?

Thinking about getting married? Thinking about getting McDonald’s? Thinking about both? Well, some dude beat you to it.

via YouTube

Southeast Asia features a special wedding tradition: “fetching the bride,” where the bride and groom do fun challenges to prove themselves worthy to their spouse. This dude, Chen Guanyou, honored his special day with his favorite special treat: A weekly McDonald’s run. 

Dressing up like Ronald, a burger, some fries, and more, he and his groomsman threw together this ridiculous video, which will probably have his bride-to-be thinking twice about tying the knot.

H/T TIME

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