drunk

Via: Late Night with Seth Meyers
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Guys, we are in real dire straights these days. The toddlers have taken over the nursery school, and there isn't a grownup in sight. Obama is gone. Ok? Get that through your thick skulls. 

As if to pour salt on that wound, Jordan Peele of Key & Peele and the director of the new film Get Out, reminds us all of what we're missing and what Obama's probably doing. Drunk Obama is the president now. Get over it! 

Via: check it
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Look, three-day weekends can be deadly. But let's not lose our heads. If you're so drunk that you can trip and knock yourself out on a doorknob, maybe it's time to get some sleep. 

Let this video be a lesson to you.

With enough of that sweet booze in the system a man can make do with just about anything as his bed -- the nearest, least-clogged street gutter, the hood of a car, a barstool, the lap of the stranger barstool prophet located nearest, etc. Shame and self-awareness up and vanished sometime around the halfway mark when you decided to become best friends with a Mr. Jack Daniels. What we have here are the implications of said friendship.

alcohol,FAIL,drunk,trolling
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Thoughts and prayers go out to our fallen boozehound of a brother in arms; clearly Saturday night got away from the guy, and he'd watered down so many brain cells with alcohol, the only outcome was his self-made failure. In this case, the fact that he literally tees himself up for a solid boss scolding. Yes, a fail in every sense of the word. Oh, also I definitely recommend checking out this dude's ongoing string of ridiculous tweets. He's got a Scottish Twitter accent thicker than a steaming bowl of overcooked porridge. 

FAIL,drunk,texting
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Everyone's been there. You're two sheets to the wind, and you decide that maybe you should buy two sheets or maybe just some fries. Getting drunk and ordering shit on the internet is a national pastime at this point and deserves to be honored as such. 

The fine folks over on Reddit are sharing some of their best drunk purchases. From managing their finances to sex toys, these items range from the practical to the extravagant. But the best ones are the snacks. Everyone likes snacks. 

drunk
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Ah Friday has rolled around yet again. Another week just about in the books. We sit on the cliff of dwindling work constraints, and stare out at the infinite possibilities of the weekend. I can almost taste that shit. The burn of a shot forced upon you by a friend supercharged on liquid courage. The steady mounting bar tab. The stressful ritual of approaching someone who might've made eye contact with you, or not at all, every now and again. Cheers ya filthy animals, happy Friday.

drinking,drunk,weekend,win
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