Mathing when it's time to 'settle up' is hard, and especially if you're out drinking yourself stupid like many of these poor-tipping, brain-incapacitated boozehounds evidently were. I'm all for the humor, but by the grace of all that is good and reasonable in this crazy world, don't fail to leave a decent tip. Working on bended, tired knee, and used 'n abused non-slip shoe, through the hospitality industry is no easy business. I'm the first to complain about my old days of slugging it through double shifts as a busboy/dishwasher (team bitch) turned waiter, who consistently counted on tips to put a little extra meat on an otherwise skeletal budget. If you can't afford to tip well don't drink/eat out, but if you can, take inspiration from the people that provided decent gratuity with a solid side of humor on some of these receipts.