Criminally Dumb Criminal

Via al.com
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Walmart not only has falling prices, it’s also got strange men falling out of the ceiling.

A shoplifter was apprehended by security at a store in Mobile, Alabama last Wednesday after trying to walk away with a debit card, some shoes, a hat, a watch and some underwear.

They locked him up in the security office, but he mysteriously disappeared.

“He had climbed on a desk, jumped into the ceiling, then tried to escape,” said a witness named Brannan Lynn, who recorded the whole thing on his phone.

The suspect made his way to the entryway of the store where he then kicked he way through, dangling for a few minutes before hopping down to the ground.

He eventually ran into the parking lot and drove away in his car.

You can check out some more raw footage of the daring escape on LiveLeak.

funny-news-fail-disguise-face-paint
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Can you spot the man in the photo above?

Inept car thief Jose Espinoza was running from the cops in Madera, California last weekend, when he came up with what he believed was a genius escape plan.

He spray painted himself black as a disguise. Needless to say, it didn't work, especially considering he was standing next to a white wall, as Corp. Josiah Arnold told CNN.

The Madera Police Department later posted his mugshot to Facebook, with this amazing caption: "The camouflage was ineffective."

Your move Florida Man.

funny-news-fail-car-pooper-akron-ohio
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The Akron, Ohio Police Department is in a desperate search to find this car-ty pooper. Apparently he's left his gifts inside or on top of 19 different vehicles, occasionally even opening unlocked vehicles in order to do so.

Truly, we live in benighted times.

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From the Smoking Gun:

A trio of teenage burglars who stole cash, jewelry, electronics, and prescription drugs from a Missouri residence also thought they got away with a stash of c0caine they found in a wooden box, only to later discover that the powder was actually the cremated remains of the homeowner’s father, police report.

Upon determining that they were not, in fact, in possession of c0caine, the teens discarded the remains out the window of their getaway car. One of the burglars actually tasted the powder and realized it was not a controlled substance. 
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Luckily it appears no one was hurt, and something tells me some guys getting caught on news cameras aren't going to be running around for much longer...

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Via NBC Miami
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From NBC Miami:

A West Palm Beach, Florida, man listed his occupation on an arrest report as "drug dealer,'' police say.

Deputies say 25-year-old Robert Phillips was arrested Tuesday after he cut in front of an unmarked Palm Beach County Sheriff's car and nearly caused a crash. A records check found that Phillips was driving a stolen car.