alcohol

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The local fire department in Patos, Paraiba, Brazil were called to a bar Feb. 5 with a report of an aggressive monkey with a kitchen knife chasing men.

Lt. Col. Saul Laurentino of the Fire department said the monkey drank a glass of rum at the bar before picking up the knife and chasing after men, leaving the women alone.

"It was a bar staff oversight that ended with the monkey drinking some rum and taking the knife," said Laurentino.

Sounds like some of the bar patrons were just trying to enjoy the simple joys of a monkey knife fight:





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Tune in for a knockout performance from Kevin Kline's Calvin Fischoeder. Real talk though: how about those ice skating moves from his brother Felix, who looks graceful as a freaking swan.

Anyone else in the mood for a glass of something strong and distilled now? Take life on the rocks with bourbon, bourbon, oh bourbon, bourbon.

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