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25 Funniest Real Courthouse Quotes That Have the Entire Jury LOLing

25 Funniest Real Courthouse Quotes That Have the Entire Jury LOLing

May we enter these memes into the evidence, your honor?
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'I can barely afford food': Pre-law intern making $14/hour gets badgered by their out-of-touch boss to buy a designer purse worth a month's salary

What can you buy these days with $14? You can get a drink with a friend at happy hour, you can see a matinee at the movie theatre, or you could maybe–just maybe–order a pizza. These days, 14 dollars isn't going very far, but for the intern at a law firm in our next story, her deluded boss seemed to think that $14 was just enough for an hour's labor.
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'There is a guy in Zoom court literally going through the car wash': 20+ Zoom court mishaps

'There is a guy in Zoom court literally going through the car wash': 20+ Zoom court mishaps

Zoom is very useful for some things, but it's really best to go to court in person if you can. It was a necessity during the dark years of the early 2020s, when we all needed to stay indoors and protect ourselves from illness. We suddenly found ourselves having Zoom holidays, with forty family members all trying to talk at once from their separate dining rooms. Instead of going to school in person, the kids spent a while getting their education via screens. Even things like doctor's appointment…
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'He escaped consequences': 10+ court fails where lawyers found loopholes and judges threw out the cases

'He escaped consequences': 10+ court fails where lawyers found loopholes and judges threw out the cases

Most lawyers will tell you not to count on niche loopholes to get you out of trouble. However, every so often these lawyers worked on a case where the details and specifics were vague enough to get a case thrown out. These are obviously few and far between, but one would imagine that discovering said loopholes might make one feel like the next Elle Woods. As we know, she was able to protect Brooke Windham in the end because of a hole in Chutney's perm story. Whatever it takes to protect your cl…
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'A lawyer's pro revenge on his boss': Lawyer racks up 100 hours of overtime to spite lazy boss

If your boss tried to ruin your holidays , you'd be seeking revenge too. After working roughly 50 weeks out of the year, having a vacation is so necessary. It makes you remember what life is all about: having a ton of fun with the people you love most. Whether you're taking a week to go to the beach with your kids or grabbing five of your close friends and going to Vegas, it's great to focus on having fun and relaxing. I imagine that's also especially true for workaholics. If you're working 80-…
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'I told him I wanted $5,000': Guy catches a lawyer practicing without a license

'I told him I wanted $5,000': Guy catches a lawyer practicing without a license

Lawyers have a certain reputation for being a little shady. This reputation isn't representative of all lawyers, but there are always a handful of them who prey on people. When people come to lawyers , they're at a point of desperation—maybe they've been in a car crash, or they're going through a messy divorce, or they're squabbling with their landlord. Most folks out there just don't know much about the law, and they rely heavily on their lawyers to sort it out for them. Not only are legal iss…
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'[He'll need] a magnifying glass': Contract lawyer takes a client's request literally, squeezing several pages of legal jargon onto a single page using tiny text

Reading the fine print of any document is tedious. You're squinting to make out the tiny letters, the verbiage is convoluted, and you can't help but feel like you're about to sign your life away at any given clause.
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'Client pretends to hire me to get around the rules': Group of lawyers outsmart security guard

Would you go to great lengths to get a bagel? Because this group of lawyers would. Store-bought bagels are nothing compared to freshly baked ones. If you have to pass a bagel shop on your way to work every day, that makes the temptation even stronger. Suddenly, you find you've become a bagel connoisseur as you sample all the different varieties the shop has to offer. The only breakfast better than that is a free breakfast provided by your workplace! This dude works as a chef. That means they ha…
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'[The lawyer] just stood there, staring': Dairy farmer gets revenge on big-shot lawyer for parking in his driveway

The story of the rural folks' stand against the ever-expanding metropolis and its unfriendly denizens, at this point, is almost mythology. And there's good reason behind that. The rural life paints pictures of warm, tilled-earth, dewy mornings bringing the smell of fresh, damp soil, friendly, tight-knit communities, and the down-to-earth, salt-of-the-earth people who inhabit them. Meanwhile, cities bring forth images of inorganic filth and a cacophony of unnatural sounds. Scores of people pass…
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'Every time he called... the call was recorded': Contractor loses thousands of dollars to construction company, then takes a different job with them and plays the long game

'Every time he called... the call was recorded': Contractor loses thousands of dollars to construction company, then takes a different job with them and plays the long game

Taking a peek into the life of a contractor as he works to build a restaurant is so interesting. If you don't work as a contractor, you'd have no idea what goes on while people are building a restaurant. By reading this story, you get a good insight into the process: for example, it's not just one group of people who are in charge. Instead, there is a general contractor who is responsible for managing subcontractors who work under the GC's supervision. There might be one person who's in charge…
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'This led to them doubling down on their stupidity': Business docks employees' pay for leaving work 59 minutes early, employee calls their bluff and takes them to court

'This led to them doubling down on their stupidity': Business docks employees' pay for leaving work 9 minutes early, employee calls their bluff and takes them to court

This company was great at first, but slowly became too toxic for one employee. Cultivating a professional and pleasant atmosphere in a workplace takes effort from every person in the building. If employees are happy, they'll probably be friendlier, which will make collaboration easy. When employees are dissatisfied at their job, though, cliques start to form between different branches of the business, and employees might harbor resentment towards management . After all, if management is in char…
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'They emailed me in a panic, begging me to stop': Intern sends dozens of emails to lawyers after boss refuses to let them use a flash drive

'They emailed me in a panic, begging me to stop': Intern sends dozens of emails to lawyers after boss refuses to let them use a flash drive

Interns are allowed to make mistakes over and over and over again. It's kind of just part of the job. As a young person in college, you want to get some valuable experience in your career field with an internship. But since you are still in college, and have probably never worked in an office setting before, you're just bound to mess things up. At least at this point in your not-yet-existing career, you're allowed to make a few mistakes in the name of learning and gaining experience. This perso…
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"Oblivious" lawyers refuse to let bookkeeper make simple phone call that would save the firm $125k

No one likes insurance companies, and what is there to like about paying for a service on the off chance you might one day need it, only to have that service provider behave with hostility and suspicion when that day arrives, doing everything they can to get out of honoring the service that they were being paid all this time to provide. Sure, not all insurers are like this, but being left in the lurch when you're already in a dire moment really sticks with you, and people's fear of that happeni…
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'Here's my availability': Dispute between lawyers escalates to scheduled boxing match

Ah, the good old days when academic and political disagreements and perceived insults were settled via the elegant art of dueling. Did one of the Founding Fathers of the United States insult you, the current sitting Vice President of the United States, and cause you to miss out on the Presidency? Well, just shoot him in the eye with a flintlock pistol and be on your merry way!.. Civilized!
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'Turns out the admission was really important': Insurance lawyer refuses to download video software to help his client, realizes his mistake in the courtroom

'Turns out the admission was really important': Insurance lawyer refuses to download video software to help his client, realizes his mistake in the courtroom

This lawyer was all set to lose an open and shut case, until another attorney made a huge mistake . One of the first things your parents probably told you after you learned to drive was how to act if you ever get into a car accident. After making sure everyone is okay, you inspect your car and take photos, call the police, and phone up your insurance. And one major thing to know is that you shouldn't say sorry to the other person, because in a legal sense, it shows that you're admitting fault o…
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pro revenge petty-revenge-reddit lawyer revenge revenge-stories petty revenge Lawyers revenge-stories-reddit - 22698245

'Cue mass resignations and missed deadlines': Owner antagonizes own lawyer over sale of company, lives to regret it

It's amazing how some people get away with being completely incompetent, inexplicably failing upwards, and succeeding due to sheer circumstance until they find themselves in positions of authority that they never should have been allowed near. They'll succeed for as long as their luck holds, but eventually, the entire house of cards will come crashing down… This original poster claims that their revenge really isn't that substantial, but considering the fact that they pushed the first few domin…
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