Personally, I'm not so sure how I'd feel about this one, were I put in our fresh-roasted birthday dude of the hour's shoes: on the one hand, the card isn't exactly sweet talk material, but on the other, grandma could be kind of a comedic badass. Perhaps with age and wrinkles comes a greater appetite for insult-worthy humor.

birthday,grandma,cards,insult
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Mathing when it's time to 'settle up' is hard, and especially if you're out drinking yourself stupid like many of these poor-tipping, brain-incapacitated boozehounds evidently were. I'm all for the humor, but by the grace of all that is good and reasonable in this crazy world, don't fail to leave a decent tip. Working on bended, tired knee, and used 'n abused non-slip shoe, through the hospitality industry is no easy business. I'm the first to complain about my old days of slugging it through double shifts as a busboy/dishwasher (team bitch) turned waiter, who consistently counted on tips to put a little extra meat on an otherwise skeletal budget. If you can't afford to tip well don't drink/eat out, but if you can, take inspiration from the people that provided decent gratuity with a solid side of humor on some of these receipts. 

customer service,tips,restaurant,funny,receipt
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There are some things man wasn't meant to toy with. Google's open-source machine-learning software Tensorflow is one of them. 

Cristopher Hesse used Tensorflow to create edge2cats, a program that turns line drawings into whatever you want, including horrible, horrible cats. It's a total nightmare, but also really funny.

Try it yourself here, check out some of these little freaks from Twitter.

twitter,Cats,google
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Sex has a profound ability to cloud our judgment in a haze of something vaguely similar to terribly horny, blue-balled, sexually-frustrated teenage hormones, embrace our baser instincts, and enact with getting out there to do some ill-conceived 'things': things like blowing through budgets at bars like we're working through a bottomless bag of gold coins (and not subjecting ourselves to living off Top Ramen till next paycheck), surrounded by strangers, and just hoping we bump into that one chick that could be the one--that'll engage in conversation, at least. Or, enlisting ourselves for notoriously ridiculous dating apps like Tinder or Bumble that often times gives way to unforgettable crazy-coated conversations. And then, well, the opportunity for sex between consenting adults can just pop up in brilliant, unplanned fashion because you were there at the right time. These 13 people were lucky enough to fit the bill, get laid, not fail to round home base, etc, in one way or another.

sex,strangers,sexy times,stories
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Hope you're ready to never sleep again because someone made a little Troll doll out of that reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency last year, so that he could make the lives of marginalized children unsafe

Chuck Williams has opened up a Kickstarter to fund the manufacturing of this mini Donald Trump. It stands about five-inches tall, has really stupid hair, and holds a little iPhone, which is technically incorrect because everyone knows that Trump refuses to give up his insecure AndroidCalled "The Official World's Greatest Troll," Chuck's abominable creation has already brought in over five times more than needed to produce that little baby dick. And, ugh, would you look at this thing?


Horrible. 

Want to own one for yourself? You can preorder this little gross grabber over on Kickstarter. Bring this butt home.

donald trump,troll,kickstarter
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How badly do you want to meet one of your favorite celebrities? 

Would you wait outside their hotel room? Mail them a letter? Or just go to one of those meet and greet things, like an honest, hard-working American? 

Noah Maloney has started a new campaign in which he eats a picture of Jason Segel everyday until Jason Segel eats a picture of Noah. This guy sounds like a real freak and a real geek. No one what I'm saying? Just kidding, he seems cool.

Starting last week, the #EatMyFaceSegel has begun, and the videos

on his YouTube page

— the accurately titled "Dog Shit" — makes good on that promise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdPzSx59sqw

how i met your mother,jason segel
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