How badly do you want to meet one of your favorite celebrities? 

Would you wait outside their hotel room? Mail them a letter? Or just go to one of those meet and greet things, like an honest, hard-working American? 

Noah Maloney has started a new campaign in which he eats a picture of Jason Segel everyday until Jason Segel eats a picture of Noah. This guy sounds like a real freak and a real geek. No one what I'm saying? Just kidding, he seems cool.

Starting last week, the #EatMyFaceSegel has begun, and the videos

on his YouTube page

— the accurately titled "Dog Shit" — makes good on that promise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdPzSx59sqw

how i met your mother,jason segel
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Welcome to... TRAPPIST-1f?

via GIPHY

That doesn't have the same ring to it. 

Yesterday, NASA announced the discovery of seven new planets that are in habitable zones and might even have water. You know what that means! ESCAPE.

Lots of people are using the discovery of a new, livable world as a second chance, a failsafe for this whole Earth experiment, which can we just agree has been a total failure? 

Check out how people are reacting:

nasa,twitter,space
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Only in America would the idea of someone fighting for social justice be considered an insult. You know who else is a SJW? Batman. Do we not like Batman anymore? Come on, nerds. You guys are nerds. You should love Batman, nerds.

Anyway, some regular ol' dum-dum who has probably said "Wow, I can't believe it's this warm in January" or "Crazy that it's snowing in April" at least 17 times in his life decided to let the world know how dumb he was by tweeting this: 

Let's do this!

via GIPHY

climate change,global warming
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Via: CineFix
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I have a confession to make: I haven't seen La La Land

via Mashable

I know, I know, but it just doesn't seem like the most pressing movie right now. In fact, it seems like the type of movie that would seem much more appealing if the world weren't hurtling toward catastrophe. I'm sorry, I just can't deal with another actor/musician follows their dream movie. 

However, I will see anything directed by David Lynch, so if he had directed La La Land I would've been all over that. Then again, he already directed La La Land twice — Mulholland Drive and Inland Empire

via Walk Through the Fire

fail washington post yell o matic tool
Via: Abraham
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If you're like me, there's nothing you like in the world more than someone shouting "shame" at a politician. Man, it's great. When you watch these guys who continuously lie and take adavantage of the peopl their supposed to be representing, just getting destroyed by their bosses. 

Well, thankfully, the Washington Post, who recently changed their Masthead to read "Democracy Dies in Darkness," has released a new way of watching my favorite thing. 

The Yell-O-Matic let's you pick a politican, and then you can watch a bunch of constituents yelling at them. It's great. Here are some good ones:

Mitch McConnell



McConnell (Bonus)


Rep. Dave Brat






Sen. Ted Cruz 





Rep. Nancy Pelosi





Via: Auralnauts
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So we're all in agreement, the Star Wars special editions were a huge waste of time that offered nothing new to three perfectly fine movies. So sue me, I don't think Greedo shooting first adds anything to the story. 

This, however, is good stuff. The YouTuber Auralnauts replaced all of R2-D2's beeps with an actual voice that kind of sounds like Elijah Wood. It does sound like Elijah Wood, right?

Anyway, this is a fun video that reminds me of those videos of BB-8 with Jean Ralphio's voice dubbed in. 




Via: Super Deluxe
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It's hard to imagine how Trump sees the world, aside from what can only be described as having a seething hatred for every man, woman, and child on Earth. But this video by Vic Berger, which re-cuts last week's crazy press conference comes close. 

Tim and Eric fans will love this. 


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