It's not a shirt so much as a grim reminder of the ever-present specter of death.
Also, it'll look TOTALLY HAWT with those shoes you just bought!
I mean really, does nobody follow the proper safety instructions? No loose clothing around the shredders, people!
Really I'm just reminded that somebody was foolish enough to pay money for this. That poor sap.
You might want to get that checked out, it appears that wild animals got to that shirt while you weren't paying attention.
Chalk this up to self-inflicted wounds.
Introducing the front whale tail?