Cast this man in the remake, stat.

And while we're at it, let's also revoke the "pieces of flair" policy for Hot Topic retailers.

Seriously. It makes your hair stick out, and every time the cat tries to sit on your lap it gets electrocuted by static from the nipple ring.

He's probably disapproving of the body paint. Yeah, that's probably it.

Um, can I give you my cell phone number, please?