Because savage gorilla beasts have tested more strongly among male focus groups than puppies.

Every time I put up a picture of a bodybuilder with a really gross fake tan, at least a couple people always say "But they have to have that tan for the show. It's the only way the lights will shine on them properly." Well, here's a picture of some pre-show models applying said tan before an amateur bodybuilding tournament in Krasnoyarsk, Russia. Even in context, though, it doesn't make me feel any less weird about it.

...busted.

I know you were upset about losing the Old Spice competition, but that's no reason to take it out on your body!

Otherwise, you run the risk of looking like this.

Including (and especially) their skin.