sexy times

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By Unknown
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You know what else doesn't get you laid? Improper apostrophe use. For shame!

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By Unknown
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Well that, and whatever underwear can make my junk look like a firearm. Thankfully both of my criteria are filled (just like the pouches in this pic here).

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By Unknown
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Please, come to the bed. It's warm and cozy here in the bed.

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By Unknown
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He's being quite literal here, "Boy who plays in the dirt and gets himself dirty" wouldn't fit on the shirt.

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Via: Reddit
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If you don't mind me, I'll be eating my food on the OTHER side of the Cracker Barrel, thankyouverymuch.