Edward Cullen was a vampire, and I would soon be jumping off of the nearest bridge I could find after realizing this exists.
You know what else doesn't get you laid? Improper apostrophe use. For shame!
"Tammy, dear, can you hike your dress up a bit more? I want to make sure we get a lot of leg in this picture. Also Tim, can you move your left hand a little lower...yeah...that's real nice."
He's being quite literal here, "Boy who plays in the dirt and gets himself dirty" wouldn't fit on the shirt.
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