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By Unknown
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As a child, Laura was bitten by a radioactive helium balloon. Now she must spend her days tethered to the earth by a rope held by her sidekick Gimpy, the Girl Wonder.

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Via Izismile
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The tragic accident at the nuclear plant behind him fused his body with that of Zsa Zsa Gabor's.

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You'll be doing a lot more than kissing the cook by the time he's through with you.

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By Unknown
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Taking the whole "piss PETA off" thing pretty far...