Weird, Because I'm Looking For Someone Who Wears Everything on His Sleeve...

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Weird, Because I'm Looking For Someone Who Wears Everything on His Sleeve...
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DATING - PERSONALS:

"Totally cute and awesome goth chick looking for elder-statesmen straight-shooter who is totally only into goth chicks for NSA fun-times. Must be partially bald and otherwise physically unfit. No scammers or frauds."

Printed in: "The Daily WILL NEVER EXIST," Vol. X Issue: IN YOUR DREAMS.

Here Comes the Bride, All Dressed In... That.

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Here Comes the Bride, All Dressed In... That.
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Non-traditional weddings are the new traditional weddings. Get with it!

One of These Things Is Less Goth Than the Other...

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One of These Things Is Less Goth Than the Other...
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"Did I ever tell you how I got this bonnet? Well, my dad was a real drinker..."

Keeping It Classy

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Keeping It Classy
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'I'm a human pet': The Goth teenager whose fiance walks her around on a dog leash.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

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Can't We All Just Get Along?
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Alternate title: Oh Look, It's Two Poorly Dressed Commentors.