DATING - PERSONALS:

"Totally cute and awesome goth chick looking for elder-statesmen straight-shooter who is totally only into goth chicks for NSA fun-times. Must be partially bald and otherwise physically unfit. No scammers or frauds."

Printed in: "The Daily WILL NEVER EXIST," Vol. X Issue: IN YOUR DREAMS.

We're all looking for someone to love, even Bubba here.