It'll Get Me To Stay Away From People Like This, Though

Favorite
dating,gross,pick-up line,sexy times,shirt
- -

You know what else doesn't get you laid? Improper apostrophe use. For shame!

Well If You Insist, I'll Put My Foot There

Favorite
dating,dude parts,if you insist,twister
- -

What's that? Left foot on red too? I couldn't possibly do that!

Weird, Because I'm Looking For Someone Who Wears Everything on His Sleeve...

Favorite
dating,goth,looking for,relationships,shirt,true facts
- -

DATING - PERSONALS:

"Totally cute and awesome goth chick looking for elder-statesmen straight-shooter who is totally only into goth chicks for NSA fun-times. Must be partially bald and otherwise physically unfit. No scammers or frauds."

Printed in: "The Daily WILL NEVER EXIST," Vol. X Issue: IN YOUR DREAMS.

You Think So, Buddy?

Favorite
dating,present,really,relationships
- -

Ted is here to bring you the gift of "sitting on the couch," "complaining about the Cubs," and "asking for another beer." Truly he is a deity among men.

Download the new Cheezburger app for a chance to win a PS4! in Cheezburger 's Hangs on LockerDome