"Our troops amass on the field at dawn. Today we ride into battle, our tempered courage only matched by our cold steel."
"Who do we face today, who dares stands against our might? Surely none can match us in armed combat."
"Today, we face the one they call... Bryan."
"Gods have mercy on us all."
Just remember, every time you think to yourself "Man, the '90s were SO MUCH BETTER than times today," one of these little punks puts another quarter in the Billy Ray Cyrus jukebox and continues the cycle of misery. Remember that.