(My dad in response to Tyler, the Creator's "Bitch Suck Dick")
Dad: Did he just say he's f**king a unicorn?
Me: Yes, yes he sure did
Dad: I don't blame him.... I'd f**k a unicorn, they're sexy as hell.
(My date and I about to leave.)
Dad: Oh, and kids! Don't forget, stop teen pregnancy- take it in the ass!
Dad: What? I saw it online and thought it would come as great use to you.
(My mom and I discussing school projects)
Me: Essay projects are one of the few school projects that I don't mind doing, since they're not a right answer-wrong answer sort of thing.
Mom: I actually like more solid foundations, like in math: 2 + 2 will always be 2... Wait a second...
The Most Clever Graduation Caps From the Class of 2015
The Weasley Twins Could Have Been the Heroes of the Harry ...
Of Course Nine Cats Would Love All These Boxes
JK Rowling Supports Irish Gay Marriage, Slams Westboro Baptist ...
Arya's Game of Faces Fools One Probably Near-Sighted Fan
Ever Been so Oblivious You Didn't Realize You Were Being ...
There's Probably No Better Reaction to Flipping Your Vehicle ...
Quantum Cat Fluctuation
The Evolution of the Bikini
This Guy Didn't Get Final Jeopardy Right, but He's Won Our ...
Pick Your Site Name
Tell us more about it