(Us at table eating tapioca. My uncle Ralph *has finished his but there is no more):
Uncle Ralph: Hey did you know semen is low calorie food? Five calories per go!
Me and Brothers: *Push away food* Eeeeeeeeew.
Uncle Ralph: Well if you're not gonna eat it....
(Watching show about El Chupacabra with my uncle.)
Narrator: Last sightings were seen in Texas...
Me: Texas, its always texas.
Me: Nasty creatures sucking the blood of farm animals.
Uncle: Probably their governor.
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