From the submitter:
We were gonna have him jumped in on his 5th birthday but we had cake and a water balloon fight instead.
Nope, I'm pretty sure we can judge you too. Or your parents, for that matter.
(Grandma scolding me for having girlfriend's name tattooed on my arm.) Grandma: You just wait until your grandfather sees it. (Grandpa walks in the room and looks at tattoo.) Grandpa: Oh... Wow, that looks way better then mine!
Every sci-fi novel warned us about this day.